Sheep at the window

I've been secretly working on a new design for this blog in the last few weeks. The sidebar has really been neglected in the last year and I could no longer figure out why I was using Serendipity when most of the sites I build these days are based on Wordpress. So, starting from today, this blog has a new address, a new design, and a new system, and they can all be found at can be found at:

http://www.sheepatthewindow.com

(how's that for a short, catchy URL?! )

I'm still working on the new blog so it might look a bit funny for a while, but as of today I will no longer update the blog here. So go there.

Go on.

Shoo.

Yesterday I sorted through my stash of potentially crafty stuff. I found a box on the shelf that I haven't opened in a while, which contained, among other things, an ugly frame that could be made into something beautiful when I get around to it, some decorative papers, stickers dating all the way back to the 80s, some dry glue sticks, and glitter.

I packed them all up, and put them out in the street in the nice green trash can. Except the stickers, which I'm sending to my nieces.

Now, instead of a pile of trash, I have a lovely empty space. So much more potential, so much easier to pack when we finally move in a year or so.

I have my brother in law Gilad to thank for this - he was here for about a month a little after Toam was born, and when we got tired of watching him hang around our living room doing nothing, we made him do housework. (you can read his lament here. Also, read the rest of his blog. He travels in the far east now, and is a wicked good writer).

Anyway, we asked him to clean out our porch, and being the slightly OCD person that he is he took it quite literally and threw out a ton of stuff. At first I was really angry, ecause it was MY STUFF, but then Gilad told me that there's no way that I'm going to misss any of it because I had no idea what was there in the first place. And he was right. It's been 3 months, and I still don't have a clue what he threw away. Guess I didn't need it after all.

So, I challenge you, readers, to throw something out. It might not be the most popular advice in these ecological days, but being ecological to your spirit is a good thing too. Go ahead. Take that frame that's been lying there since your wedding, which you are NEVER going to touch, and just toss it out. Someone will use it.

And just so you won't think there's no recycling at all going on here..

I made pants!

Inspiration came from Tamar's boxer-shorts pants, the pattern is absurdly easy, it took less then half an hour, and they're the coolest pants in the world. I'm never buying another pair of baby pants ever again.

Next on my list is a shirt, from this t-shirt to newborn gown pattern. Which I'm obviously going to have to enlarge, to fit little Chubby McChub.

Well.

Life with the midget (as we fondly refer to our enormous, 95th precentile, 7-kilo baby) is starting to look a bit like a life again instead of a long, hectic day. He smiles. He laughs. He eats faster. He sleeps longer. He learned to make noise by banging a rattle repeatedly against my head. He says Ah-Goo and holds his head up. He anticipates events and gets angry if they don't happen fast enough. He realized there are cats living in the house (Ah! Goo!). He is slowly coming out of the "newborn-ness" that surrounded his existence until now.

I'm learning too. My aunt was here a while ago and we talked about her work, and she told me that the reason she is so efficient in her work is because she doesn't like it and prefers to get it over with as fast as she can. And I realized, whatever I choose to do now, it's gotta be fun. It's gotta be something I'll want to do so much, that I won't want to just get it over with. And very slowly, ideas that swam around in my head for the last 2-3 years are starting
to take the shape of sketches and Google Documents and excited phone
calls. Slowly, becasue I know myself, and I tend to get over-excited about new projects and then burn out faster then a match. And this time I want it to work. And when Toam looks at me 20 years from now I want him to see that I did what made me happy and fulfilled and not what paid the bills, because that's how I hope he'll live his life, too.

Meanwhile, I spend a lot of time online, looking for inspiration. Feel free to check out these hand-picked, kiddy links:

Small Magazine (check out the ads, they each lead to sites more amazing and wonderous then you can imagine)
Keri Smith writes about motherhood and creativity. In a somewhat kitchy way, but kitch does tend to become the truth when it comes to babies.
Baby Rings - A toy to sew for young ones (this is a link to a PDF file)
e-coloriage - Eco-themed coloring pages for kids (to print out. Which kind of beats the whole ecology thing, but I guess you could color them on the computer, too)
Cuteable - blogging everything that is cute, and not just for kids
Ohdeeoh - blogging everything that is for kids, and not just cute
And my recent find, Camille Soulayrol, a French (I think..) stylist. I want to live in her world. don't forget to roll over the dots under the photo and wait a bit.

And, for those of you who are poetically-inclined, check out my cousin's review of "Twist of Address", on Slope magazine.

Toam at 2 days, 4 weeks, 8 weeks

So, this is pretty much what's going on in my life right now. One kid, getting bigger every day while I sit around and watch, awed. I've been meaning to write a new post for quite a while, but I'm not sure what to say - I'm not particularly crafty these days, not too much online, nothing extrememly interesting is going on unless you're me, or you are as interested in this little baby as I am for some reason (Hi, Grandmas! )

2 months ago, a bit after Toam was born, I remember how I sat one night and couldn't really figure out why we made him, what was wrong with our old life. I was wondering how I'd feel if he disappeared and I wasn't sure it would be too bad. I missed my hobbies. I missed sleeping. Now? I spent an hour away from him last week and it felt like someone ripped my leg off.

Officialy I'm back to work, but my brain is mush. I don't do much now except hang around with my kid, taking him out for walks, talking, laughing.. not much going on these days, really.

And yet, surprisingly enough, I'm enjoying every second of it.

My new little teacher.

A teacher of patience.
Of admitting you were wrong.
Of finding out what works for you (the cloth diapers? No good in the Israeli summer unless you want to wake your kid up every hour to change his diaper. Which I (obviously) don't. Toam got an INCREDIBLE rash and we had to store those away for now).
Of facing your fears - I'm going back to work next week, and Ez is taking the rest of the maternity leave. Which means decisions should be made, about what my business is going to look like from now on. Yikes.
Of finding the balance between "mom" and "me".
Of being able to function properly when you don't sleep for more then 4 hours straight (and yes, I know 4 hours is a lot with such a young baby..)
Of not feeling guilty about every little thing.
And of finding out that what you thought was 100% of who you are, was in fact only about 85..

This is a long overdue post that I was a little scared to be optimistic about before I had any actual experience.

A few months before Toam was born, we tried to make some decisions about the way life with him will be - we asked friends to build us a co-sleeper, and bought some cloth diapers. Most of the family thought we were nuts. Cloth diapers? in the age where disposables are so available and easy to use? How will you manage? and what about the laundry? and WHY?!

Well, there are a lot of reasons why. Ecology is one of them, but that wasn't on the top of my priority list - it's just a nice benefit. I got the proof of why cloth diapers are much better when we left the house for the weekend and switched to disposables for the sake of convenice - Toam's little newborn tush was covered in diaper rash within 24 hours, no matter how much cream we used to try to protect him. Once we got home and switched him back to cloth, the rash was gone.

Cloth diapers contain no chemicals, no bleaches, no glue, and no questionable substances. True, they take some getting used to and require a few minutes more of your time per diaper - you have to take the dirty diaper, wash the poop off (easy if you install one of those sprayers next to your toilet) and store it in a pail. Once a day, just empty the pail into the washing machine and you have a batch of fresh diapers.
It's not for the faint of heart who don't want to handle poop, but from what I noticed so far, handling poop is what parenthood is all about.

You also don't have to do any of the old fashioned "baby origami" to diaper your baby, and there are no pins! today's cloth diapers are shaped like a disposable, close with velcro or snaps, and you have a huge variety of options to choose from - some have covers, some are "All in One" diapers that include the covers, some have a pocket so you can choose how much absorbant material you need.

The best way to choose cloth diapers is to buy one of each of a few brands you want to try, and see what works best for you. I chose a different way and bought a whole batch of bamboozles from Tots Bots, which got excellent reviews, are extremely soft and fit almost every body shape (and at least for us - they don't leak!) and are made of antibacterial Bamboo. They're pricey, too, so your inital expense might be quite large - but in the long run, cloth diapers will save you money, too.

They say that once babies start eating solid foods, things get more difficult. I will have to remember to report about that when the time comes.

More baby news - we survived the Brit on Friday, as well as our first weekend away from home. I'm getting better, and Toam is getting BIG - he spends more time awake now, and doesn't fall asleep after 5 seconds of breatfeeding. Life is emotional and full of ups and downs, and there is not much on my mind other then diapers, milk and sleep. Lots of smiling and lots of tears for all 3 of us. Lots of getting used to this new life with this new person, who can be wonderful and frustrating all at the same time. 

5 days ago I gave birth via an unplanned (but non-emergency) c-section. We got home yesterday and we're feeling wonderful - I spent 4 days in the hospital recovering, and at the end they said I can keep him

I'm insanely happy and hormonal, and can't take my eyes (or camera) off the little wonder that is my son. Wow.

p.s - Ruth - your blanket is a life-saver, the baby loves it and spends his days and nights snuggled in it. I'll post photos soon!

Nope, no baby yet.

I spent countless hours over the last 2 weeks connected to a fetal monitor which showed "borderline" results in the baby's heart-rate, and spent even more hours explaining to doctors that maybe, just MAYBE, I know this baby better then a machine does. And that I can go back home. And I'm fine. And please, there's no need for an induction just yet.

The borderline monitor results, as well as my borderline blood-pressure, sent the doctors into a borderline state of mind and they gave me until Thursday to try and give birth naturally (which of course will not happen, because I'm notoriously bad with deadlines). Otherwise, we will need to seriously discuss the option of an induction. And that will probably end up being more then just a discussion.

I learned a lot of new things during these 39.5 weeks. About me, about what I expect of myself and of others, about supportive and un-supportive people in my life.

About self confidence.

About how I can talk about nothing but pregnancy and baby things all day and still be in deep denial about the fact that I'm going to be a mom very soon.

About how I seem to have picked just the right guy to marry and have a baby with despite the fact that he REALLY pisses me off sometimes (or maybe it's because of that fact).

About how funny cats can be when they get kicked by your belly and try to figure out what's going on.

About how dull and not blog-worthy life felt recently, although it has actually been not so dull.

And mainly, about how baby stuff takes up about 4000% more space then the actual baby. Apparently, it takes an entire large drawer FULL of tiny clothes to keep a baby dressed for about a week. 

So here I am - in the last few days of being pregnant. Scared, curious, and wondering what my toes look like these days. Full of big questions, big hopes and a big belly.

See you all when I'm a mom

Enjoying:

Color Pencils reviewed - LOL
Sweeping the clouds away - about the (relatively) new release of early Sesame Street episodes and how they are not for today's kids anymore.
Mafe Maria's mural tutorial
Roman Sock's tortoise crochet pattern
JCaroline's storage baskets tutorial

Coveting:

Rosa Pomar's Cavalos sling
LivingStones seating (you know, if they were cat-proof. Or kid-proof. Or anything-proof)
Candy Stick Lane baby clothes

Buying:

The cool new Envirosax for kids (for myself!). Don't be fooled - there's nothing enviromental about these polyster bags. But they still look great.
MochiMochi's Ninjabun pattern (how cute is this??)
NIN's new album, Ghosts (available online in several formats and a variety of prices. Way to go, Nails). It's moody and sad and beautiful.

I did absolutely nothing this weekend except sleep, knit, eat schnitzels that Ez lovingly made for me and watch movies on DVD. No communication with the outside world whatsoever. My kind of weekend.

I also finished Vestee, which was a sort of "wishful thinking" sweater (I thought I'll have enough yarn, I also thought these colors will work great together..)

The technicalities:

Pattern: Vestee
Size: 12 months
Yarn: Teddy's wool Bamboo which was a complete NIGHTMARE to knit with. It breaks apart into those tiny threads and it took a long time to get a good result with it. Another low-quality yarn from the Teddy..
Needles: Circulars, size US5 I think? I'll have to check.

All in all:
Because I ran out of yarn I skipped the shawl collar and went for a rolled one instead by picking up stitches along the neck edge and knitting 3-4 rows in the round.. I'm not entirely happy with this sweater but it's not the pattern's fault - the colors didn't work together as well as I imagined and as I said the yarn simply sucks. I can however see myself making this again, with better yarn and hopefully a better eye for color. Also, despite my efforts to ignore the obvious, this sweater is really quite girly. Oh well, at the worst case Baby Boy can wear it around the house on chilly days.